Sabtu, 27 November 2010

Love

Love is a puppy with a waggling tail.
Love is Easter eggs gathered in a pail.
Love is a butterfly, fluttering near a rose.
Love is a kitten, licking your nose.

Love is a hug from your mum or your dad.
Love is a kiss when you’re feeling very sad.
Love is a caterpillar hairy and slow.
Love is a giant flakes of white, fluffy snow.

Love is a unicorn standing so tall and free.
Love is a budding leaf growing on a spring tree.
Love is a feather falling from the sky.
Love is the twinkle in Santa Claus’s eye.

Love can mean so many things to each one of us.
It can be a chocolate bar or a ride on a bus.
No matter how you see it, no matter how you feel,
Love is the best feeling when you know it is real.

Guess what?

Why do you have to go to bed?
Because the bed won't come to you!

When can you eat soap?

When you change the 'a' to 'u'!

How can you fit a ten page article about milk into five pages?
Condense it!
Which fish is also a weapon?

A sword fish.

What do frogs drink?

A croak a cola

What's funny?

A guide was showing an old lady round a zoo.

"Here we have a native of Australia," he said, taking her to the kangaroo's cage.

"Goodness," the old lady replied in shock. "My grand-daughter's married one of those!"







Customer: Do you call this a full meal? You served me twice as much yesterday.

Waitress: Where did you sit yesterday?

Customer: By the window.

Waitress: Oh, that's why. We do that for advertising purposes - it gives people passing by the impression that this is a good restaurant!

Gappu: Ha, ha!

Nippi: What's so funny?

Gappu: Well, I was thinking ...

Nippi: Yes, you're right - that is funny!



Monica: Has your sister had her baby yet?

Ruchika: Yes, she sent me an e-mail, but she didn't say whether it was a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether I'm an aunt or an uncle!

Tongue Twister

Sometimes what children wonder can make us wonder how they wonder such interesting wonders.

Five fat peas in a pod pressed.

Does he know that we know that he knows.

Is there a pleasant peasant present? 

Big Billy, who had a big belly was also a big bully.

How many cuckoos could a good cook cook, if a cook could cook cuckoos.

I'm not the fig plucker, but the fig plucker's son.
But I'll pluck figs, till the fig plucker comes. 

Any noise annoys an oyster but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more. 

Hi says Hilda Hippo Happily
Hi says Hilda Hippo Happily.  


Once upon a barren moor
There dwelt a bear, also a boar.
The bear could not bear the boar.
The boar thought the bear a bore.
At last the bear could bear no more
Of that boar that bored him on the moor,
And so one morn he bored the boar--
That boar will bore the bear no more.





Long Bony Fingers

Long Bony Fingers, Stories for kids: 141_1.gifSomu loved to read ghost stories. Every time he paid a visit to the library, he got back a teeth-chattering horror tale. It was a signal that he was getting ready to play a scary trick on his friends. He was 10 years old.

His parents had learnt to recognise the signs now. The days on which the slim boy's cocker spaniel eyes shone brighter than ever, and his brown wavy hair seemed to have a movement of their own, they knew that he must have read a ghost tale and was hatching a plot to scare someone.

The problem was that Somu loved reading. And so he did a lot of scaring too. But he was liked for his funny jokes and his helpful nature, so no one really minded. Though a few friends had often thought of making him feel a sense of fear. Fear that was very different from sitting in bed with a whole lot of munchies, bedsheet pulled up to the chin and reading a story for the pleasure of its thrills.

One day Somu's friend Pavan asked him over to his house after school. Somu's mum and dad said he could go - but they told him to come home before dark.

"Remember, now," said his dad, "you'll have to walk home through the park." (something about the park....)

Promising he'd leave early, Somu set off for his friend's house. He had a great time reading stories and looking at the pictures in some of Pavan's exciting monster books. Time flew by and when Somu looked up he saw it was pitch dark.

"Oh no!" he gasped. "I have to get home"!

Somu began to walk along the path through the park that had fallen eerily silent. How dark it was. Why couldn't the park officials put some lights? And then remembered that most of the park lights had been broken by them during their inter-locality cricket matches. In fact, if a boy succeeded in breaking a park light with a soaring sixer, he was considered a hero! Now it didn't seem a bright idea any more. Especially when the chirping sound of the crickets had become deafening. If someone came up behind him, he wouldn't be able to hear their footsteps.

And then he heard that noise. It came from behind.

It was a human voice.

"Guess what I can do with my long bony finger and my long pointed teeth"?

Somu yelped and started to run, but the pounding footsteps followed him. Finally, out of breath, he stopped and asked in a quavering voice:

"Who's there"?

But all he heard was the voice saying:

"Guess what I can do with my long bony finger and my long pointed teeth"?

Long Bony Fingers, Stories for kids: 141_2.gif
 Somu started running again. The footsteps followed behind him. Once more he stopped and asked, "Who's there"?

"Guess what I can do with my long bony finger and my long pointed teeth"? Again the same thing. Why couldn't he say something else!

Poor Somu took to his heels again. As usual, when he got a stitch in his stomach he stopped and asked, "Look, who is it?"

"Guess what I can do with my long bony finger and my long pointed teeth"?

Somu ran down the path and found himself at his doorstep. But it was locked! And the footsteps were right behind him. With no more strength left in him Somu stood there and asked, "Who's there"?

"Guess what I can do with my long bony finger and my long pointed teeth"?

Somu gulped and gathered his last bit of courage to ask, "Who are you and what can you do with your long bony finger and your long pointed teeth"?

BmBmBmBmBmBmBmBmBmBm...Hahahahahahaahhaha, went the monster.

Somu closed his ears and eyes and sat on his doorstep in fear. Then he opened his left eye a teeny weeny bit. The monster was right before him. He seemed to be wearing black trousers turned up at the end, as was fashionable. As his eyes climbed up the ghost's figure, he got a shock.

It was his father!

"Somu, did I not tell you to come home before dark?" said dad.

"You did, Daddy", sniffed Somu.

Well, I thought I would sneak up on you and give you a scare for a change, just like you do to others after reading one of your horror tales!", said Somu's dad.

Somu looked at his father for a long time. And then they went inside the house making monster noises.

BmBmBmBmBmBmBmBmBmBm...

A Day at the Pond

Duncan was a soft, furry, brown mouse. He had big, round ears and a long, skinny tail. He lived in a house in southern Scotland, near the border with England. It was surrounded by green rolling hills. In the fields, hundreds of sheep nibbled on the tall, waving grasses. Birds of all colors and types built nests in the oak trees and critters, such as hedgehogs and rabbits, lived in the hedgerows. Duncan was lucky. During the winter he stayed warm and cozy. During the summer, the windows of the house were opened up and a cool breeze floated through. He was able to go outside and run around in the fields. Life was perfect for Duncan, except for one thing, Kennedy, a large, white cat with black patches of fur. Kennedy lived in the house with Duncan and he wanted nothing more than to eat Duncan for supper.
One peaceful morning Duncan walked down to the pond in the meadow. The sun’s rays danced through the tree branches, which were swaying gently in the dawn breeze. Leaves of all colors and sizes had fallen from the trees growing around the pond. There were maroon, gold, amber, copper, maize, russet and orange leaves lying on the ground. Duncan noticed that several of them were floating on the surface. "I want to go to the middle of the pond," he said. He spotted a copper-colored leaf lying at the edge. He picked up a twig and climbed into the leaf. Pushing away from the side, the leaf, with Duncan standing right in the middle of it, began to bob up and down on the water. "This is fun!" Duncan giggled.
Kennedy was outside chasing birds. Two crows had been nibbling on the ready-to-harvest corn, growing tall in the cornfields. Kennedy had chased them away. He ran over to the scarecrow that stood tied to a wooden pole. "You certainly aren’t doing your job," he muttered. "Are you going to just stand there and let the crows eat all the crop?" The scarecrow looked down at Kennedy with its black, button eyes. When it didn’t answer, Kennedy said, "I suppose its up to me to keep them out then." Just then he spotted Duncan down by the pond. He crept silently through the stalks of corn, being sure to stay hidden. "I wonder what that mouse is up to," he smirked. He watched as Duncan climbed onto the leaf and floated into the center of the pond.
Duncan lay down on the leaf and peered over the edge. The water was so clear that he could see huge orange fish swimming through the reeds. He stuck his tiny hand into the water and scooped some up, splashing it on his face. Water dripped from his whiskers and nose and made little ripples across the pond. When he reached the center, he stood up. "What a view! I can see all the fields. Over there is the corn. It’s getting tall. There’s the pumpkin patch," he said. Just then he spotted something moving in the cornstalks. "What’s that?" he wondered. Kennedy crept closer and closer, trying to stay well hidden, but Duncan spotted him. "It’s Kennedy! He thinks he’s so smart!" Duncan cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Kennedy, I can see you!" and started to laugh. "You can’t get me. You hate the water."
Kennedy pounced out of the corn and ran down to the edge of the pond. He was angry that he had been caught. Duncan was right though. There was nothing Kennedy could do. He did hate the water and wouldn’t go in it for any reason.
"What’s the matter, Kennedy? Are you a fraidy cat? Are you a big baby and afraid of the water?" Duncan teased.
"I’ll get you, Duncan. Just you wait and see. You can’t stay out on that leaf forever," Kennedy threatened.
But Duncan seemed very content just floating about on the water. Hours passed and he was still happy as could be. He’d taken some cheese with him in a little bag and drank water from the pond. Kennedy, however, wasn’t as patient. He was getting angrier and angrier as each hour passed. "I’ve got to think of a way to get that mouse," he mumbled softly to himself. He sat down on a patch of grass and started to think. "Aha. I’ve got an idea," he smiled.
Duncan was watching the cat. "What’s he up to?" he wondered. Kennedy was picking up stones.
Suddenly one came flying through the air and landed just a few inches away from Duncan. Water came splashing all over him and the leave began to bob up and down. Duncan nearly fell off. "What’s the matter, Duncan? Feeling a little wet?" Kennedy snickered. "Here’s another one for you," he shouted and threw another stone. It landed even closer and soaked Duncan from head to tail. Kennedy threw one after another. After a few minutes, the leaf was filled with water. Duncan had to use his hands and scoop it out so the leaf wouldn’t sink. "This time, I’m aiming for the leaf, Duncan. Here it goes," he called.
Duncan watched the stone fly through the air. In a panic, he lay down on the leaf and used his hands as oars and rowed as fast as he could. The stone hit the water right where the leaf had been only moments earlier. Duncan rowed and rowed. "Stop that! You’ll kill me!" he shouted to the cat.
"That’s the plan. Then I can eat you!" Kennedy shouted.
"If you sink me, then I’ll be in the middle of the water. How will you get me then?" Duncan answered.
Kennedy stopped. The mouse was right. He would have no way of getting him from the middle of the pond. He threw the stones down angrily. Duncan wiped the water off himself and finished tossing the pond water out of the leaf.
Several more hours passed. The sun was lowering in the sky and Duncan was quite fed up floating about in the water. His cheese was all gone and he wasn’t in the mood to drink anything else. He watched the cat carefully. Kennedy was also getting tired and hungry. "I’m going to get a bite to eat and then I’ll be back to get you," he shouted to the mouse and then ran off toward the house.
Duncan quickly rowed the leaf to the side of the pond and jumped out onto the grass. He took some brown leaves and broke them into little bits and put them inside the bigger leaf. He pushed it off into the water and watched to see that it didn’t float away too far. When he saw that the leaf stayed near the shore, he ran off and hid in the bushes.
After a while Kennedy came back. He spotted the leaf bobbing up and down near the shore. "Aha, I’ve got you now," he shouted and ran towards the leaf. He grabbed it with his paw and shoved it into his mouth. Duncan giggled. "What’s this?" Kennedy meowed. He began to spit. "Bits of leaves? What happened to Duncan?" He was very angry.
Duncan ran as fast as he could back to the house and his mouse hole. He munched down some bits of cheese and lay in front of the hole to watch for the cat to come back. Kennedy came through the door a few minutes later. He was scowling. He walked right up to the hole. Duncan jumped backwards to safety. Kennedy stuck his face down so Duncan could see. "I’ll get you next time," he warned and then went and lay down in front of the fire.
Duncan giggled and giggled. "We’ll see about that." He then curled up in a ball and went to sleep, dreaming of his fun day at the pond.